See the funniest parenting tweets from the past week.
5-year-old: I’m tired.
Me: Maybe you should go to bed earlier.
5: Maybe it shouldn’t be morning yet.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 31, 2017
WIFE: hey did you know you put the baby’s shirt on backwards ag— *notices that my shirt is also on backwards* — nevermind
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 29, 2017
Me: [falling down a flight of stairs, sustaining injuries]
Kid: Mommy…can I have a snack?
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) July 19, 2017
My son asked me, "How come you're not one of those crafty moms?" & now he needs a new place to live.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 26, 2017
My Kid: Are dinosaurs real?
Me: yes but they died
Kid: why did you kill them?
M: I didn't!
Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) July 18, 2017
5: How come we never do anything fun?
Me: We went to an amusement park..
5: Yeah but that was a really long time ago
Me: It was yesterday
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 13, 2017
5y.o: "Mommy, are you going to be mad or sad? Which one?"
Me: "Why?? What happe-"
5: *yells" "Guys, it's gonna be MAD, so wipe it up!"
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 14, 2017
"Go make some new friends," I tell my kids, as I scroll through my phone at the park.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) July 9, 2017
Sometimes, late at night, if you listen real carefully, you can hear parents removing batteries from annoying toys.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 19, 2017
Wife: What time is it, honey?
Me: 37 minutes to his bedtime.
Wife: You really GET me.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) July 11, 2017
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