See our favorite tweets about parenting.
My single friend asked what having kids was like so I put on her favorite movie and paused it 50 times until it was over.
— WickedlyWitchy K∀RL∀ (@karlainvt) September 8, 2017
Having a 3 year old is like having a Roomba.
Except the complete opposite.
— Kelly (@kelly_eberle) September 4, 2017
Whenever my kid's teacher asks how I'm doing, I always want to reply, "Why? What did my kid tell you?"
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 24, 2017
Me: Look at this huge corn maze! The kids would get lost forever in there!
Him: Let's go.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 24, 2017
Happily ever after had to be made up by a parent who wanted to end storytime sooner than later.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) September 25, 2017
Sometimes I think I'm really smart, and other times I let my 4yo eat popcorn in my bed.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) September 25, 2017
If your child is not crying and screaming at you, then they're not doing homework.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 26, 2017
I'm helping my kid build his desert biome (homework) right now so my main goal today is to not superglue myself to anything.
— Marly 👻 Mayhem 🎃 (@VerbsRProudest) September 24, 2017
Fact: The number of times a mom has to repeat herself each day directly relates to the amount of chocolate she has to binge eat.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) September 25, 2017
Blessed with a daughter.
Cursed with earrings dumped on the carpet and IT'S A FATE WORSE THAN LEGOS.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 25, 2017
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