Check out our favorite tweets about parenting this week.
7YO: Daddy if you really loved me you would buy me a guinea pig.
Me: …well this is awkward.
— The Unfit Father (@TheUnfitFather) August 18, 2017
I was prepared for my toddler to misbehave but I didn’t anticipate how hilarious she would be while doing it.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 24, 2017
My chore list is just one big game of Would You Rather? And it's between showering and everything else.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 22, 2017
It's called "Family Size" because that's the amount the stress of raising all these kids compels me to eat.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) August 22, 2017
If you say "Whoops" before throwing away your kid's junk, you don't have to feel bad about it because obviously it was an accident.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) August 28, 2017
4yo: Can I sleep in your bed? I had a nightmare.
Me: Was it a dream about spending an entire night in your own bed?
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) August 22, 2017
I don't need to be rich. I just want to be comfortable enough that I don't feel guilty throwing away a Ziploc bag after only using it twice.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 16, 2017
20 years ago I dreamed of traveling the world.
Now I dream of my kids actually getting dressed when they go upstairs to get dressed.
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) August 23, 2017
Become a parent so you can wipe butts, yell at kids to eat faster, and explain what a doily is 27 times.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) August 25, 2017
Being a parent means sometimes you say things like "I love you to the moon & back but if you don't sleep right now I will haunt your dreams"
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) August 26, 2017
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