Check out our favorite funny parenting tweets from the past week.
WIFE: who do you love more
SON: *points all around*
ME: you have to choose
SON: i was pointing at the wifi
— Eric Bruno (@ericsshadow) January 15, 2018
Just shouted to my son WHERE IS YOUR BACKPACK while holding his backpack and that's this morning in a nutshell.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 11, 2018
I walk out of Target to the scene of a child laying motionless on the ground. I asked what was wrong and the dad said
“He’s upset his gloves match his jacket.” pic.twitter.com/hYMJRbZxkf
— a real dinosaur (@SparkyROAR) January 13, 2018
Me, having a tender moment with my daughter: I can't wait to see what life holds for you; you can do anything you want!
Daughter: Like make sounds from my butt?
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) January 10, 2018
Every pair of Dad Jeans™️ comes with patented “What’s Wrong Kiddo” technology allowing you the flexibility to pop a squat and get on your lil dude or dudette’s level for an impromptu gab sesh
— The Dad (@thedadonline) January 12, 2018
Parenting is insane. You have to approach your most sensitive child with the delicate sensibilities of Mother Teresa and your most gangster child with the tactics of Michael Corleone.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) January 14, 2018
My daughter’s American Girl doll is sporting a brocade dress with hand-embroidered gold and rhinestone accents and I’m sitting here like, “Can I get one more wear out of this shirt with the mystery holes in it?”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 15, 2018
The hardest thing about parenting isn't keeping kids fed or keeping kids alive or raising good humans, it's doing all that while your toddler makes the most annoying sound in the world.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) January 8, 2018
6: I’m Spider-Man.
Me: Cool. So I’m Spider-Man’s mom?
6: He only has a really really old aunt but you can be his really really old mom I guess.
You wear shoes like hers.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) January 16, 2018
"You look super full. I'm gonna go ahead and jump on your belly." ~ toddlers
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 13, 2018
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